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it all starts with the demise of the family structure and dilapidation of the family dynamic
I've grown increasingly impatient and annoyed to be quite frank with you every time I hear some spoiled, zit popping, know it all fourteen, sixteen, or twenty three year old comment on how there's no more gentlemen left in the world. To even hear these puberulous imps say this suggests to me an all too pervasive and fundamental lack of respect for the patriarchal model of the family dynamic. Of men in general! Either Daddy doesn’t wear the pants in the family or he never came back home after that night out bowling with the guys. Can you blame him! Whatever the case may be these nubile nymphs profess these specious aphorisms as if they knew anything about the world or what’s in it other than what Miley or Paris tell them in magazine interviews in Seventeen. If that’s not enough, they even offer to graciously inform us by their vast wealth of first hand knowledge and worldly experience about all the things they require from a man should he desire to keep their company. To such statements of misappropriation that echo Mommy’s sentiments I simply scoff as I would any callow and puerilely asinine platitude. This could be why I have often preferred the company of snakes and vipers rather than try to humor and accommodate many of these little girls’ inadequacies due to lack of experience, low self worth, and pubescent fatuousness.
Then there's those turned out twenty five, thirty five, and forty year olds whose incessant games they played on everybody only resulted in them hating men and being suspicious of any man her way looks. You know, those embittered and jaded victims of their own sexual objectification. Who in refusing to resemble their mother’s animus of ennui and domestic bondage only found out the cost to have your cake and eat it too ends in toothaches and upset stomachs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But pitiful is the woman who caustically thinks we men must want something because we opened the door for her in passing or smiled civilly to her while in line at the grocery store. According to her own negation, there's no such thing as a Gentleman either. Pontificating that nothing a man does is not without ulterior motives and agendas to further the means by which he aims to gratify his desires with. If that were the case, would it then not be safe to say that everything his family stands for and is professed to be is invalidated by such narcissistic and vanity based accusations. And that any man or person out there who held to treat a woman as she should be treated is nothing more than an unscrupulous and libidinous glutton. What stupidity!
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So there we have it! According to some aggrieved parties and pubescent children out amongst the crowd, there is no such thing as a Gentleman. Nor are there by all accounts any signs or clues as to the whereabouts of these former anomalies known as Gentlemen. Their argument being that they are now nothing more than extinct relics of antiquity. Doe I hear any objections to such profanations. Anything! Anybody! Is there nobody! Could there be any truth in what these women say about us even though their bitter numbers are relatively low in comparison to the many well grounded and emphatic women who do in fact know Gentlemen still exist. I mean, to hear them talk of men like this is to hear blasphemies of the very idea of masculinity and family is it not. And since I don’t hear anybody stating anything contrary to these confessions of what seems to me to be residual traces of unresolved neglect, abuse, and childhood trauma, are we to then just take their word for it. That there is in fact no such thing as a Gentleman! Of course not!
But if you insist, then let me therefore do just that. Let me at least search for those clues that will allow me the satisfaction of having at least tried to find this former class of noble creatures that are now professed to be extinct. At least so as to perhaps not so easily justify the means by which I will treat every woman like dirt according to their assumption. And if their not wrong, then I want to at least observe all those characteristics that once made up the idea of what a Gentleman was so as to learn something from these anachronisms. In any case, I at least hope these girls are gravely misinformed!
For those of you who are probably fortunate enough not to know me, so I’ve been told by many women, I believe me being too honest-the reason for such animosity, I’m always complaining and whining about the collateral damage our current culture is now being straddled with due to the vitiation of our American values by all of what I deem to be our apparent psychological trauma, self loathing and self-centeredness. To be even more honest with you, I have during my lifetime come to re-evaluate everything I’ve ever learned in my lifetime so as to start over again from a place wherein my own values suit me but not in clash with everything that is family and the American way of life. In the end I stand for everything
I’d dare even say that what I see now in our very culture is a broad influence of misbegotten pathologies, behaviors, and ideas of which the repercussions are now trying to be justified by what we as a society, as well as culture, are more and more allowing to be considered societal norms. In fact I wouldn’t know what to call it if my own political correctness didn’t keep me from calling them narcissistic and celebrity driven ideologies and obsessions. But to understand my delusions you must first understand what many would also attribute to as the bane of the Gentleman and why all these ingénues and decrepit nymphs think he extinct. This will all make sense in a minute. Just humor me if you will.
If you were to ask me, I’d tell you that it all starts with the demise of the family structure and dilapidation of the family dynamic. We’re going to move fast now so don’t lose me. I haven’t all the time in the world that my young lady friends so apparently do. This dynamic involves the process by which actual parents once assumed the responsibility to rear, raise, and educate their own kids. Unlike today’s most popular method of child rearing which is to shirk responsibility and demand that their own kids be raised by everybody else except themselves. Quondam parents did so as to give their children a better understanding of how the world works, how to navigate their way through it, and how to become self sufficient in it for starters. In short, to know their place in it as opposed to today’s busy parents insistence that their kids learn this from me, you, the school systems, sports gods, entertainers, and whores like Lindsay Loan-A-ho and Tila Trichomoniasis. And we all know what a suitable replacement Brittany Spiriferous’s parenting skills are when it comes to rearing and disciplining your kids while you’re at work.
Now who can blame all those parents out there who are overworked and up to their eye balls in debt as they try to keep up with the Jones.’ Those Baby Boomers who think they all hold the secret to a better way of life all the more feeling entitled to anything they wish. After all, they really are out there killing themselves for their depauperate kids’ want and needs. Things that their survival depend on like iPods, and Wii, and True Religion jeans and whatever else they need to gain acceptance to those cool cliques. Verily, if you were to juxtapose the two you would see that unlike the family dynamic of today, yester years’ parents had the wherewithal to devote time and educational emphasis on their kids’ behalf. Perhaps this wherewithal and financial security was due to simpler and less populated times, perhaps not. But in doing so they carefully avoided digging an apathetic hole in their children that takes a million things like x-box, bling, and cell phones to fill. As today’s parent desperately try to fill that hole due to a lack of devotion, empathy, self worth, and discipline, parents of today are no doubt missing the mark when it comes to instilling character and a sense of value in their children. I would say the perseverance they need to overcome the obstacles in life. Even if times have changed!
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But what time can today’s parents’ possibly have to rear their kids as every moment of their day is spent on buying their kids stuff they don’t need so as to assuage the guilt of not being able to spend quality time with them. Hell, who are they kidding! It’s a lot easier to give your kids all the phones, clothes, games, and Prozac they desire than it is spend time with them and teach them what they need to know about life that those anorexic coke whores on T.V. can’t. But here’s what they’re not learning about people and Gentlemen as I take you closer to it. That material needs and status don’t make the man or the woman. Character, upbringing, education, and discipline to name a few do. No matter how convincing these fashion moguls and red carpet shows may be to we consumers.
In making this one little example I begin to understand how and why some people stupidly assume there are no Gentlemen in the world. How can they when they don’t know what one is. The concept of what makes a man; therein a Gentleman by default, has been replaced by the media’s idea of what a man is. The media’s idea that a man is judged by how he looks as opposed to how he behaves. Sadly! What’s more, the concept of what a man is and made of has been replaced by a superficial and brilliant media created marketing scheme known as a Playa, Rapper, and Thug. And it’s this new concept of entertainment value that’s messaging what a man’s role is that kids are learning and admiring from entertainers and sports icons today. Learning from idols all those narcissistic ideas that aren’t teaching and instilling them with the character and life lessons they need to grow up with in order to have a chance in life.
And when it comes to models of masculinity and femininity in the home what do we expect our kids to understand if all they see is Mommy hating Daddy, therein no doubt emasculating him at every opportunity. Assuming he’s even there, no doubt Daddy’s at work trying to escape his kids and marriage all the while shirking and avoiding those responsibilities he has to his kids and to us as a society to raise, teach, and discipline his own kids. It’s no wonder these little gamines are telling everybody there’s no such thing as a Gentleman when their own positive role models fail miserably as men as well. The family model from who kids learn these things are weak examples of patriarchal and matriarchal authority in comparison to some movie god or reality star that can do no wrong as he’s blasted on the screen twenty four seven. Thus learning that make believe is what a model of a man is!
In all actuality there was no one out there except Jaz - Z and Dr. Dre who we’re willing to take the time to tell your son what a man is and isn’t. If you haven’t noticed there’s no one out there who’s taking the time to love and teach your kids like Snoop Dogg and his pimp sidekick are. Wherein, these celebrities more than willingly take their valuable time to instill in him, along with all the idiosyncrasies of their celebrity, behaviors that reinforce the virtues of misogyny, dope dealing, and being a manner less douche bag. And if Jay Z the entertainer is their only role model and example of masculinity and refinement, what do you expect him to call you other than Dawg. Certainly not Ma’am or Sir!
Let’s talk about another reason why all these little girls and women alike think that there are no Gentlemen left in the world. Thanks to the ignorance and poor upbringing of your favorite self-loathing entertainers, actors, and reality stars, you have come to believe and allow all your boyfriends to cutely call you “triks” and “ho’s.” And in allowing this you have succeeded in allowing and perpetuating the objectification and demeaning of women and of what a woman isn’t. More importantly, you’re guilty of supporting it! A man doesn’t call a woman a “ho” whether as a term of endearment or a pet name either as so many would have you believe. Gentlemen don’t call women this in any light, period! At least not any Gentlemen or real men I know. And every time you snivel and think it’s funny, it adds to your own ignorance and degradation. But what do I know! I’m not cool.
What’s more is I don’t want be cool even if it’s socially acceptable to call women “ho’s” even in jest. I would rather much prefer her company than have her deem me ignorant as I do all those little snot nosed jailbait who’s sure to be tomorrow’s turn outs. That’s the difference. So every time your little dick having boyfriend calls you “trik” while you pass him the bong, remember that you’re the reason there’s supposedly no Gentleman left in the world. Oh, and have a little respect for your self. If you’re not going to demand it from him, then at least do both you and me a favor and demand it from yourself.
I can't help but think that every time you little girls allow your wannabe Gangsta, punk ass boyfriends who wears their two hundred dollar jeans falling off his waist, with their perfectly positioned hat twisted to the side, to call you “trik”, “ho”, and “bitch” while you snicker like the stupid little girl you are, it reinforces the idea that you and women in general either don’t care or don't want to be treated with respect or kindness. You’d rather be treated like some piece of meat in a rap song because you think it brings you closer to
Far and wide women and adolescent girls of all age have to start insisting on being treated decent if not well and insisting on men being self sufficient as opposed to being their new mommies once they leave home. That’s if you want a real man in your life! If more women would insist on being treated like a Lady and not allowing our emasculated egos to overcompensate our inadequacies instilled by our overprotective mothers we’d be a lot better off. Much more than continuing on as just spectators or historians who boringly records time with our own impotence, it’s my hope to see us preserve those certain aspects and qualities of our life that some of us still deem important. So that we and those aspects of our lives don’t also fall victim to our current culture as apparently the Gentleman has by all accounts. According to some embittered detractors of the Gentleman, the fact that our way of life seems forever crippled and vitiated is the only thing I find that our lives require immediate remedy for.
But with the family structure not what it used to be and divorce even higher than what it’s ever been, how is one parent then going to have time to positively influence their kids with realistic expectations of what it takes to maintain and emphasize a healthy identity of themselves. More importantly, who’s going to teach their kids what gentlemen and ladies are if she’s busy at work, shopping for groceries, taking them to soccer practice, helping them with their homework, and teaching them about integrity. Here’s where entertainers, sports gods, and celebrities once again surreptitiously move in to take her place as she’s just too tired to do anything else. My point! It all starts in the home.
Last time I heard some schizophrenic reality star be interviewed on a celebrity gossip show, I don’t remember him or her mentioning how important it was for his fans to say Yes Sir, and No Ma’am while speaking to his elders. I don’t remember her vowing the importance of staying in school and getting an education. Talking about what defines a Gentleman besides the obvious opening of the door on the first date only and standing up when a woman approaches until she gives him what he wants. And why should he! He’s not your parents. It’s not his job to raise you. Entertainers’ jobs are to sell you tickets, their merchandise, their latest movies and c.d.’s. So how is it that we have straddled entertainers with the responsibility to raise our kids! To instill all that which the parents should instill in them without passing the parental burden to us, or the media and entertainment industry.
Incidentally, it doesn’t help matters when children are idolizing, mimicking, and reflecting scripted and fictitious fame or bad behavior in hopes of becoming famous like them. Children see this and emulate it. In many cases they don’t, reasons not beholding to them, have a father figure or a positive role model to pass down the life lessons needed to become a well grounded and normal functioning person. In most cases there isn’t a positive role model for kids to look up to who says “this is the way a Man, a real Man acts, solves problems, knows right from wrong, and treats people. This is and this is not! The way a real man treats women!” But who do we blame if not ourselves in this world of big houses, two cars, forty credit cards, a yard, a lap dog, a wife, and two and a half kids. And if your like Tiger Woods one too many mistresses. Who do we blame when were out killing ourselves working nine tenths of the day. I mean, who’s got the time! Integrity and character takes work to instill in a child and many parents don’t have the time, the energy, and yes…the inclination to do so. My point, I have to hear your kids tell me there’s no Gentlemen left in the world while they desperately need some one to wipe the snot off their face! Come on!!
I could go on and on but to what end. Nobody wants to hear it. So when you ask me how I feel today ask me only if your interested in knowing. If not, don’t waste my time as I’d rather not hear the sound of your whining voice. Because I’m in such a charitable mood I’ll tell you something else you won’t learn from that little groveling bitch A.J. Hammer. No matter what any man or woman may tell you, anywhere a Gentleman goes in this world the very nature of his temperament commands respect. I didn't say demands, I said commands. It is recognized by how he wears it. So if any of you ladies out there recognize by chance the now supposed extinct character of a Gentleman and you want to keep him then treat him with a little dignity and respect. Please don’t treat him like those churlish miscreants you’re so used to having call you “ho.” The fact that your opinion of yourself is lower than what he apparently values his own will only scare him away. And unfortunately it’s me who has to hear you insist there isn’t any more Gentleman left in this world because some of you don’t know how to handle a man that treats you with a little dignity. Of course there aren’t, for you anyway.
And for all you fully grown boys and men out there, next time you see a Gentleman your way comes, part for him as you excuse yourself for not recognizing him and parting the way for him to pass sooner. Even though you’ve no incentives to become Gentlemen anymore, unlike yourself gentlemen have had to earn trust and respect. They didn’t demand it like you mistakenly do. See, they know the fiber of man which speaks to their character is in his words and actions. And the fact that he’s a Gentleman requires nothing more be said by him. For the rest of us who aren’t celebrities in this world, character is all we have, and written upon our word is its value. A man’s word may mean nothing to anybody anymore but to some of us your word is your bond and it’s the most important thing we own as it speaks volumes without saying one word to convey it. And your word not being anything these days save worthless is just another loss you’re going to have to endure.